Sasquatch 2013: A List

Sasquatch 2013 was an excellent time. If you weren’t there, you missed out on a hell of a good time, one filled with little Scottish girls flexing in the rain, large redheaded rappers squinting in the sun and keytar solos.

Fortunately for those who missed the chance to journey into The Gorge, I was there. Here are some highlights.

Best Performance: Killer Mike

Everyone who’s heard it will agree Killa Kill’s R.A.P. Music was the best album of 2012. Seeing a 500+ crowd chanting the Atlanta MC’s name after one song brought chills not only to anyone in the crowd, but also to Killer Mike himself. “How’m I supposed to rap for y’all if I’m tearin’ up?” The big man asked us. Then we followed along as he shouted “Tryin’ a’ knock his brains through the motherfuckin’ ceilin’.” Also, it was adorable that his family was backstage.

For context:

Worst Performance: Ab-soul and Schoolboy Q

They didn’t show up, which doesn’t stop this song from being excellent, but still… It makes one wonder. Like, what the hell, guys?

Most Baffling Lineup: Elephant Ears at 9 p.m. on a Sunday

Seriously, in any context outside a four-day music festival, a 20-person lineup for deep-fried pancake batter would be fucking insane. But when you look at that, then look straight into the eyes of a dude wearing American flag spandex and a matching shirt and cape, it seems about right.

Most Adorable Lead Singer: Lauren Mayberry of Chvrches

Chvrches is kinda like Scotland’s answer to Purity Ring – bumpin’ beats with a lady singing. That’s not a slight – they’re quite excellent. But Lauren, with her tiny stature, awesome leather jacket and sharp-and-very-Scottish sense of humour stole the audience’s heart. She even pointed out the lack of ladies on shoulders, which was refreshing. She then related to the crowd a story of how the last girl she saw up on someone’s shoulders got smoked with a cup of piss. My heart exploded.

See? Adorbz!

Most Baffling Overheard Line: “Do you have curly fries? I can’t seem to find curly fries anywhere.”

For context’s sake, the signs in one area alone read: “Gyros with Seasoned Curly Fries,” “Boneless Chicken Wings with Seasoned Curly Fries,” “Seasoned Curly Fries with Seasoned Curly Fries” and “Deep-fried Who-the-hell-knows with Seasoned Curly Fries” and you can’t find any curly fries?!

Best Comedy Set: Tig Notaro

She can work a crowd, even when she’s talking about Onion headlines and cancer. Or making people who walk by question what exactly everyone in the comedy tent is doing as we screeeeeeeam and stop. Screeeeeam-stop. Scree-stop.

Act I’m Pretty Certain Sounds Like My Mom Thinks All Rap Does: Death Grips

See?

Dude Who’s Probably Made the Most Appearances: Ben Gibbard

2011: Solo
2012: Death Cab for Cutie
2013: The Postal Service
2014: His new indie rap group Wile Cardigans, with their minor hit “$asquatch Money, Bitches.”

Horrifying Thing I Apparently Missed: Whatever this is

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