Weekend Table Talk: The “I’m Not Wearing Pants” Edition

Interpret the title whatever way you want. Perhaps it refers to The Metal Men, who never wear pants because they do not need to worry about hiding their giant alloy erections. Or maybe it’s referring to Kyle and Northstar’s honeymoon, which probably involved either” a) no pants ever, or; b) the smallest, tightest neon leg covers that can barely referred to as “pants.” Anyway, here’s some stuff to talk about if you run into a comics nerd at your local table dancers’ apartment. First up…

Barry Sonnenfeld is attached to DC’s Metal Men

So that means absolutely nothing, but it’s like DC’s not even trying to make good movies that don’t have Christopher Nolan as director. “Hey, you know what ruled? Wild Wild West. Let’s get that guy to have something to do with The Metal Men. He always makes good movies, right?” Ugh…

Northstart and Kyle got hitched. Yes, that’s still semi-news

What is really baffling is why they went to New York. They’re Canadian, which makes pretty well everything easier, except keeping your federal government job. Boom. Suck it, Harper.

But do they kiss? Oh, the suspense! That would have been ballsy of Marvel, hey? Two dudes kissing on the cover of a major comic book – wicked. Unfortunately, Marvel is a bunch of cowardly ninnies who are old enough to remember when “ninny” was the ultimate insult.

In honour (yeah, spelled with a u) of that, this list was made

It’s of the best LGBT comic characters, and it’s, like, four characters long. Keep it progressive, mainstream comics. Perhaps it’s just laziness on the part of Comic Vine, but let’s not get into that here.

George Takei is awesome, in Archie’s buddy’s comic

Kevin Keller is gay, so everyone in Riverdale pretends to be his best friend, especially Jughead, who probably wants to bang him anyway. So George Takei is showing up, because he’s hilarious and gay.

Is Mrs. Grundy the ensign in this episode?

Did you watch the newest episode of Futurama?

If not, you should, if only for the opening sequence. It’s all live-action, with cheap props, and it’s pretty darn excellent.

LEGO Batman 2 is apparently awesome

The reviews are in, and it appears that LEGO is killing it, not only in the mini construction business, but also in videogames. The best Superman game ever? Possibly.

Artist Sharon Moody paints a scene you know all too well

Her talent is phenomenal, so she draws photorealistic scenes featuring comic books in mid-read. Enough explanation. Prepared to be amazed… And then go to Comics Alliance to check out the rest.

Yeah, that’s a fucking painting.

This dude is great and makes some points

Zach Weiner, despite his unfortunate(ly awesome) name, draws a great webcomic called Sunday Morning Breakfast Cereal. It’s funny. He also likes regular strips and such, and he knows a bunch about them, so TED asked him to talk about them. He did, and if you have never read The Ten-Cent Plague by David Hajdu, then watch his speech. Or just watch the speech, as it’s great. Especially how he mispronounces the soon-to-be-former Public Safety Minister and all-around dipshit sensationalist Vic Toews.

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