Weekend Table Talk: The “June Sucks Because it Doesn’t Have Holidays” Edition

Okay, so that title probably angered some Slovenians who were planning to take the day off for Statehood Day. But really, there’s no stat holidays in June, so the month sucks. That said, it is Black Music Month (which I didn’t research very heavily-or at all-so one can only assume it’s dedicated to Norwegian black metal bands with African singers)  and Bike Month (in the BC lower mainland), so you can ride your double-seater bicycle while your passenger sings you Otis Redding songs. But until that glorious day comes, here’s some other things that are happening. First up…

There’s a full-on DC fighting game coming out

Remember Mortal Kombat vs. the DC Universe? Remember how it would get easier after you lost a fight three consecutive times? Well, now you get the chance to “suddenly start doing well in the third round” with nothing but DC characters. Check out the trailer for Injustice: Gods Among Us, where Solomon Grundy speaks more eloquently than ever before.

Northstar and Kyle are getting married, to nobody’s surprise

Marvel announced it, and now two handsome young men are getting married in New York, while Iceman for some reason decides to stand 300 feet away on an ice trail and look like a smug jackass. Anyone else sense jealousy? Two Scottish MPs are really jazzed about the whole affair as well. Anyway, it comes out on June 20, so order it right away.

Somewhere, Rick Santorum is in a dark room, whipping himself with rosary beads and reading an advanced copy.

Jim Unger passed away on Monday

He was the creator of the consistently funny and always popular daily strip Herman and one of the best Canadian cartoonists. His one-block strip was carried in over 900 newspapers worldwide. Not bad for a guy who rarely, if ever, drew people with eyeballs.

Alan Scott, the Green Lantern nobody cares about, is probably gay

Or so says dude from Bleeding Cool. So, apparently, DC was right when they said “established” but neglected to say “popular” or “was actually in movie or something.” Also, Longbox of Awesome totally nailed it.

Baracks Bunny?

Some writer for Yahoo compared Mitt Romney and Barack Obama to Daffy Duck and Bugs Bunny, respectively. It’s about right.

Marvel creates new superhero, becomes a mom’s favourite company ever

So, this little kid in the U.S. was being a little shit (as little kids are wont to do) and refusing to wear his blue hearing aid. His sound argument? “Superheroes don’t wear hearing aids.” Which is a sound argument (one you’re undoubtedly going to use the next time don’t want to wear your seatbelt, jump out of a plane without a parachute or pay taxes). So the mom wrote to Marvel, who wrote back and said that Hawkeye totally wears a hearing aid. Then they did one better and created a superhero called The Blue Ear, who wears a wicked good hearing aid.

“And the combination to that safe is…”

Meanwhile, DC created a superhero that runs around breaking children’s hearing aids…

Just kidding.

But seriously.

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