The Avengers: A Completely Partial Review

First off, do a couple of things before you hit up The Avengers this weekend:

1. Get there early. That way, you get to see the awesome (and sometimes not-so-awesome) costumes some people show up in. And you get a good seat, since (unlike a rock show) it’s tough to see exactly what  is going on in the first three rows.

2. Brace yourself. You likely won’t have half as much fun at the movie theatre this year, unless you’re planning on watching this movie again. On hallucinogens.

HULK TOTALLY TRIPPING BALLS RIGHT NOW.

You’ve probably read all of the reviews and seen the hype, and yes – this movie is awesome. But you can’t be surprised you’re reading that here, on a blog dedicated to everything comic-related and nerdy as all get out.

But this movie isn’t one you go watch once and call it good forever. It’s a movie you watch twice in theatres, then as soon as it comes out on Blu-Ray, then multiple times after that. It’s a movie you throw on when your buddy’s over and you’re both bored.

It’s a movie for everyone – it’s just violent enough to satisfy your Tapout-wearing roid-rage cousin, but full enough of laughs and heart for your mom, who will probably half-watch it while knitting, as moms are wont to do.

She doesn’t care if you’re 29. Or a dude. She’s knitting you a Wonder Woman sweater, and you will darn well wear it, or you can’t have pie with Christmas dinner!

The movie itself is based around a group of superheroes attempting to put aside personal differences to stop one of their adopted brothers from ruling the world. The plot is pretty thin, but it doesn’t seem to matter. What the flick lacks in plot, it makes up for in killer dialogue and massive set pieces.

The dialogue for every character is unique and pitch-perfect (“clench up, Legolas” -that’s right, there’s a Lord of the Rings joke in there) and the jokes are timed wonderfully. Small hints are given to character backgrounds (Black Widow especially), leaving you wanting to know more about them. You don’t find much out about Hawkeye, but with how much money this movie will rake in, it’s likely not the last time you’ll see Jeremy Renner doing his modern-Robin Hood schtick.

Every action scene is bigger than the one that came before it, with more at stake. The action just gets better and better, and the threat looming larger and larger until finally it comes to a head in one heck of a final act.

But that’s enough raving. Just go see The Avengers. It’s a good time and the best possible way to kick off the summer film season. And make sure you stick around after the credits… All of them. It’s worth it.

KHHAAAAAAN – OH, WAIT. HULK SORRY.

And oh, if you were wondering if Mark Ruffalo is the best Bruce Banner yet – he is. Bar none.

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