So Many Nick Furys

Fair warning: there is more cursing than usual in this post. So don’t read it aloud to your kindergarten class.

Super soldier Nick Fury is the comic nerd world’s James Bond, with everyone having a favourite version. Some will prefer the original (but nobody under 60 years old remembers picking up Sgt. Fury and his Howling Commandos), others will prefer the Ultimate version, also known as Samuel L. Jackson’s doppelganger, who has the same eyepatch as the original, but he’s black. And those who like their Furys to be badass to the core, there’s always Garth Ennis’ cigar-chomping womanizing Punisher: Max and Fury: Max version, who once belt-whipped a guy while calling him an “inhuman fuck.”

AKA "The Best Version."

And, of course, some people straight up like the Nick Fury from Iron Man 1 and 2, Captain America and Thor. And how can you not? It’s Samuel L.M.F. Jackson

In fact, because everyone loves Nick Fury, there is a Tumblr dedicated to him. And yes, it starts with “Fuck Yeah.”

Anyway, now there is one more Nick Fury for you to choose from – Nicholas Fury Jr.

Eyepatches are hereditary. Bet you didn't know that.

Apparently, Marcus Johnson is the long-lost illegitimate son of Nick Fury, the white one. He was fighting in Afghanistan for a while (not Iraq – that was all Flash Thompson), the some stuff happened and his buddy turned out to be Agent Coulson of S.H.I.E.L.D. and his dad turned out to be the greatest spy in United States history.

Oh, yeah. Sorry, second best. Mark Twain was number one.

Fortunately, Nicholas Fury Jr. looks just like Samuel L.M.F. Jackson, so it will certainly help people who’ve only seen the movies hunt down books in the comic store, just like the Black Widow books that feature Scarlett Johansson.

Now, it could be said that this is just a cheap ruse to sell a few more comic books by obvious tie-ins to the film. Well, duh. It’s been done dozens of times before and it’ll be done a million times more, so there is really no point in deriding it.

That said…

Let’s let Garth Ennis write a flick starring his version of Nick Fury. Hell, he can use Samuel L.M.F. Jackson if he wants, that’s awesome, as long as he writes the character. Sam’s badass and all, but until he is on a big screen with a cigar hanging out of his mouth belt-whipping a guy who totally deserves it, it just won’t be the same.

Like, seriously.

Badassness in human form. He uses cigars instead of painkillers, which he says are for ninnies. And he uses the word "ninny" and makes it sound hard as fuck.

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