Reasons to Watch Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance hasn’t been released yet, and there aren’t a ton of reviews out yet (unless you count a particularly entertaining one by former Marvel publisher Shirrel Rhodes). And since Longbox of Awesome doesn’t have the pull it once did back in the golden age of Internet blogs (see: the ’60s), you’re not likely to read a review here. In lieu of any sort of review, we instead bring you a taste of what are likely to be the best parts of Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance.

Nic Cage is in it!

Show of hands – who doesn’t think Nicholas Cage is the greatest actor of all time?

At what point does a show of hands become a movement?

Oh. Okay, why?

Well, Season of the Witch wasn’t very good, I’ll give you that, but at least –

Oh, yeah, neither was the first Ghost Rider. But –

Oh, and Wicker Man sucked. What about Kick Ass?

Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Okay, you take that back about Con Air. You don’t mean that, and it was hurtful.

Now look what you've done. I hope you're happy with yourself.

Idris Elba is in it!

If you’ve watched The Wire, Luther or Thor, you know who Idris Elba is. He’s Stringer Bell, Luther and Heimdall, respectively – also known as The Guy Who Brings the Awesome.

So hopefully he’ll bring some of that awesome to this flick.

Also, he wins every staring contest ever.

It’s directed by the same team that made Crank!

Which is kind of why people who, when they heard there was a sequel in the works, went against every bit of their best intuition and got excited about it, since Crank was probably the greatest film of all time.

Granted, Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor also directed Crank 2: High Voltage, which was less of a film and more of a hash-and-rum-induced psychosis caught on tape.

So once you do the math, they break even.

It’s in 3-D!

In some theatres, at least. So, if you really like paying extra for a special effect that does absolutely nothing to enhance your enjoyment and forces you to wear incredibly uncomfortable glasses, that’s a bonus.

It’s kind of like hiring a dominatrix to whip the shit out of you while you’re dressed as Harry Potter.

"The safe word is 'Hufflepuff.' Now make like a candy cane and bend the hell over."

Marvel can’t screw up a property as awesome as Ghost Rider, right?!

Oh. Wait.

The Secret World of Arrietty also comes out this weekend!

So in the extremely unlikely event that Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance sucks, you can always make a fuss and storm out of the theatre… Straight into what is likely to be one of the best animated films of the year.

"I should watch out for a guy with a flaming skull? Yeah, okay, do you know what happened last time I listened to a fairy? I woke up in a ditch just outside Ottawa with a broken nose and no clothes."

"It is fuckin' ON, mushroom cut!"

If you do go watch Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, leave a review in the comments. If you don’t go watch the movie, at least take some time to check out the amazing blog Nic Cage as Everyone (post of note: Nic Cage as Hermione Granger).

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2 thoughts on “Reasons to Watch Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance

  1. Amy says:

    It’s not a fairy! It’s a borrower! You fail at life.

  2. […] watch Ghost Rider Spirit Of VengeanceReasons to Watch Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance […]

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