Bringing Back Johnny Storm

Today, a fire will be re-ignited in the Marvel Universe, one that is kind of annoying but went out a hero. No, don’t worry, Ghost Rider didn’t die.

He's not as weak as your average Storm family member.

Marvel’s most famous flamer, Johnny Storm, comes back today, rising from the ashes of what people were supposed to care about.

Calling him a flamer is a cheap joke not only because it's a pun and really obvious, but also because it insinuates something about his sexuality that probably isn't true. Despite the skin-tight costume and the gayest catchphrase in the Marvel Universe. What?

That’s right, folks. Johnny Storm died, and chances are you didn’t even notice. Despite the demise of the Human Torch, Sin still went nuts, The Serpent still nearly ended the world and the coolest member of the Fantastic Four, The Thing, still went nuts and tried to (and probably managed to) kill a substantial portion of the population of Manhattan.

So why did Johnny Storm die? He was killed by the nemesis that has been plaguing the Fantastic Four for years – lagging sales.

"Ah, why didn't I think of that? Stupid Doom, stupid!"

Of course Johnny wasn’t going to stay dead. He is a superhero, after all, and those guys don’t stay dead for long (for evidence, watch this hilarious video over at College Humor).

So what does Johnny Storm’s resurrection mean?

Not much. As mentioned, not much changed when he was gone, so things will likely remain the same upon his return.

Spider-Man will be stoked, though, since it means he can quit one of the three hundred teams he’s on right now.

Or maybe he'll say, "Screw it," and quit everything. Like a quitter. Quitty McQuittypants.

That’s not to say that Fantastic Four #600 isn’t worth picking up. It’s 96 pages long, so you’re definitely getting some hefty story for the eight dollars you set aside for your next date. And it’s probably pretty good.

But don’t you feel used? Marvel killed Johnny Storm just so people would start paying attention to the FF again. That’s no reason to kill a character. A character’s death, when lacking a real purpose, always feels like a rip-off.

Not only that, but when it is that obvious, it rips you out of the story and forces you to see all of the workings around the story. The business of a piece of entertainment should never show through and distract the viewer. It causes the viewer to be skeptical of every plot point from there on in.

It stops being fun, and that’s what comic books are all about.

Oh, and violence. Lots and lots of violence.


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