Hal Jordan Might Kill Wade Wilson

Now that everyone who has seen it has determined that Green Lantern thoroughly blows, we can all look to the future of the franchise. Apparently, Warner Bros. likes to bet on three-legged horses, so they are pushing forward with a sequel. Let’s just hope that it doesn’t star Ryan Reynolds.

Maybe it will be Green Lantern II: Bzzt Harder


Not that Ryan Reynolds himself isn’t great – the classic Van Wilder would have been just another National Lampoon’s schlock fest if it wasn’t for him; he was pitch-perfect in Adventureland; and he is still the only actor to ever say “cock-juggling thunder cunt” in a movie.


Brace yourself before you Google that phrase.

It’s not Reynolds that one needs to fear for, but the properties he is attached to – specifically, Deadpool. We’ve already seen a small preview of what Reynolds can do as the Merc with a Mouth, and despite the mediocrity it was surrounded by, it was great. Reynold’s quick wit and even quicker mouth lent themselves nicely to everyone’s favourite metahero.

But, if Wilder – sorry, Reynolds – keeps playing Hal Jordan in the sure-to-be awful Green Lantern sequel(s), moviegoers may begin to only identify him as that character. Nobody will want to see him as Deadpool.

Also, if the movies don’t make any money, the studio may be hesitant to put Reynolds in Deadpool.

And, the worst part, if the Green Lantern movies keep blowing goats – something people do tend to associate with the stars, whether they admit it or not –  nobody may show up to watch Deadpool in 3-D (kidding; hopefully by 2014, 3-D will fuck off back to Hell along with roller disco).

There is an extremely loyal fanbase for Deadpool, one that reacts vehemently when any news seeps out about the film, so it may be a tough sell if the Emerald Warrior continues on his current path.

What happened after Deadpool fans watched X-Men Origins: Wolverine.

[pictured: What happened after Deadpool fans in Vancouver saw what happened to Deadpool in X-Men Origins: Wolverine.]

So, for the sake of Deadpool, two things need to happen: Ryan Reynolds needs to quit being Hal Jordan, no matter how difficult; or the Green Lantern sequels need to be axed. Because, unlike the character, Deadpool’s movie is not unkillable. 


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