The Eisner awards were announced! Hooray! For the uninitiated, the Eisners are the comic industry’s answer to the Academy Awards. They are named after the late Will Eisner, the legendary comic writer/artist.
A hell of a lot of awesome people and titles were nominated, including the always-awesome Mike Mignola, Terry Moore’s Echo, and Joshua Dysart’s cancelled-before-its-time Unknown Soldier.
So what does this mean for the casual (and hardcore) comic reader? A few things, actually. Longbox of Awesome has compiled a few excellent ways for you to honour the industry’s highest award.
1. Start up an office pool, choosing your favourites to win in each category. Tell Bill from accounting to choose something other than The Simpsons-based comics for once. This only really works if you work at a comic book store. Even then, it’s a bit of a stretch.
2. Empty out a substantial portion of your savings account/your child’s RESP/your wife’s purse/your local 7-11’s safe, run out and buy every comic that is nominated. That way, when the winners are announced, you can yell, “Horseshit!” when the guy you had money on doesn’t win.
3. Gather your pilfered funds and book a flight to San Diego to attend the awards ceremony. This will afford you the opportunity to get a tan, boo your hated nominees and rush the stage, tackling Gary Trudeau and stealing his award.
4. Pay close attention to the awards, take a woodworking and metalwork class at the local trade school, and fashion an Eisner. Then give it to yourself, under the category of Best Reader. Or Most Handsome According to Mother.
5. Plaster “Eisner Award Winning” on the masthead of your comic book. Watch as the sales… Stay the same. Go buy a ‘kerchief to dry up your tears.
But really, though. Congratulations are due for all of the nominees; it’s a talented bunch who deserve recognition. Next year, though, the Best Comics-Related Periodical/Journalism category better watch its back, ’cause Longbox of Awesome is coming its way!
The full list of nominees and dates and all that can be viewed here.