The King + TWD = ?

So far, all versions of The Walking Dead have been awesome beyond compare.

The comic provides readers a monthly dose of impossible-to-predict gore, sex and feelings (also known as an average Tuesday around the Longbox of Awesome HQ).


"Hands off Sylvia, dude... Oh wait, you have no hands.  Nevermind."

She's not invited.

The TV show has fared well so far, staying true to the show while departing in exciting ways.  It feels fresh yet familiar, something many comic-based shows and movies have failed to achieve.


Dale, a.k.a. Shaft in a bucket hat

Dale remains a badass, which is really all that matters. We'll give Andrea time to catch up.

With last week’s announcement that Stephen King and his son may be writing an episode of TWD, zombie geeks everywhere have been getting as giddy as an undead horde at a nursing home.   Zombies are relatively new ground for the King of Horror, unless you count the guy from Pet Semetary.  Or the other guy from Desperation.  But those zombies aren’t straight-ahead zombies, they are otherwise normal demon-possessed people.


Why so worried?

Like this guy. But with better hair.

Longbox of Awesome took the time to speculate, based on King’s previous work, what his episode(s) of TWD might be like.

The Most Awesome Character Death in the Series’ History

Shane finds a sweet Plymouth Fury parked in front of a house in Libertyville, Pennsylvania.  He hops in, turns the key that is conveniently in the ignition, it fires up, so he puts in his bro-tastic Nickelback mixtape that he always carries around, and starts cruising around.  Wearing aviators.

The car stops unexpectedly, so Shane gets out to check under the hood.  The car drives forward, breaking his leg in twenty-five places.  Then it reverses, turning to break the other leg.  It repeats this for a while until Shane is dead and the car drives itself off into the sunset.  Oh, this whole time everyone was hanging out singing campfire songs.

Except Carl, he was watching this and laughing.

Worst Series Finale Ever

A mist rolls in, one filled with monsters that indiscriminately eat everything – zombies, people, Republicans, they don’t care.  So the gang holes up in a grocery store.

Unfortunately, the store is already looted, and everyone starves.  Some resort to cannibalism, others just die.

It’s not a good ending.

The Random Redemption

Under siege from The Governor, the gang holds up in the prison they stumbled upon. To escape, they tunnel a hole out behind a poster of Michonne she is totally cool with them having.

IT Sucks

A parade of Pennywise lookalike zombies (how’s that for terrifying?) pop up at random until the gang finds the cave containing the Queen (Sarah Palin; it gets political), who they shoot. The remaining forty minutes is the gang talking about voting and stuff.

The Green Kilometre

Still in the prison, Tyreese is found to have the ability to heal people.  Unfortunately, he doesn’t use it, as he is too busy being diverse with Michonne.

Aaaand that’s it.  If nothing else, hopefully he will write in a scene where Andrew Lincoln communicates his feelings via signs.


Also, he could say "guv nah!"

Sorry, Keira. Way she goes.


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