DC is Getting a Little Gayer

As much as it pains most comic book fans to admit, mainstream comics move at a glacial pace when it comes to social issues (much like their motherland, ‘Merica). But, with a couple of recent announcements, it looks like that pace could be quickening.

If you are planning on watching/have already watched The View today, well – really? The View? You really don’t have anything better to do at 11 a.m. Pacific time? You seriously need either a job or some sort of fitness routine, because if you wanted to watch a bunch of old women crack jokes at the expense of one younger chick, just bring your girlfriend to your next family gathering, mix up a few stronger-than-usual caesars and let your bitter, battle-hardened aunts take care of the rest.

“We used to change his diapers. What have you done for him lately?”

Ahem. Uh… Anyway…

On The View today, and this is just a well-informed prediction, Marvel revealed the planned marriage of Northstar and his boyfriend Kyle. Other predictions involve Whoopi making some vaguely racist joke about Northstar’s boyfriend being black and Joy Behar cracking a joke that made every (both?) male under 30 feel really uncomfortable.

If they weren’t holding hands, you’d never know…

So that happened. Or some other “Astonishing X-Men” related news was announced, like… Umm… Err…

The other big announcement a few days back was that DC is planning on having one of the characters come out as “one of [their] most prominent gay characters.”

While Dan DiDio was making this announcement, Kathy Kane was holed up in her corner of the DC universe, Batwoman cowl lying unpolished in a corner, writing about “how quickly people forget” on tear-stained stationery.

The blue stuff represents her ennui.

Both of these announcements are great, because it means that DC and Marvel are finally catching up with, let’s see, Archie, about a billion independent publishers and, oh yeah, the rest of the literary world.

It also means that, eventually, these type of announcements will be so ordinary some day that they won’t even make the news. It may mean in the future that a character’s sexuality will be just another facet of their personality and not used as a gimmick to sell comics. But who knows? Let’s ask Booster Gold – he’s from the future.

“Ask me what?”

I guess that solves that.

So, now the fun part – the speculation! Since it hasn’t been revealed yet, we get to spend way too much time guessing which DC character is gay. Really, any of them are a good guess, especially since legendary DC scribe Grant Morrison referred to Batman as “utterly gay” recently.

Guess 1: J’onn J’onzz, the Martian Manhunter

If the outfit doesn’t give it away right away, the name should. Seriously, “The Martian Manhunter?” And he wears a cape? He’s like the alien version of that one queen who just stepped of the set of Rocky Horror.

That said, he is an alien, so maybe the Earthling Criteria for Homosexuality don’t apply to him.

Guess 2: O.M.A.C.

The acronym means “Omni Mind and Community.” With his fiber-optic blue mohawk and gold-adorned, skin-tight disco outfit, there’s definitely one community that would welcome him with open arms.

Guess 3: Any Green Lantern

They’re (mostly) dudes who wear “Who’s in my mouth?” party masks and get their powers from their jewellery. ‘Nuff said.

Guess 4: Tawky Tawny

Yup. Nailed it.

So, who do you think it’s going to be? Leave your best guesses (and bitchy comments about blogger insensitivity) in the comments below.

Weekend Table Talk: May Long Edition

Looking for some conversation fuel for the weekend? Well, grab your teddy bears, your larger-than-usual bag of assorted pills and get reading below. First up…

Kurt Connors is Scottish, misunderstood

Rhys Ifans is a great actor, which is a good reason to have him play Kurt Connors A.K.A. The Lizard in the upcoming Spider-Man flick. Check out this featurette where Ifans insists Connors is not a villain.

Full-on jazzed yet? You should be. If not, check out this “super exclusive” or something four-minute trailer. The best part? When the announcer calls it the most anticipated film of the summer. That’s right, not Dark Knight Rises or The Avengers – The Amazing Spider-Man. That’s not to say folks aren’t anticipating it, but really, The Avengers made the most money in one weekend ever, so… Enjoy the trailer!

Anchorman 2 has a poster…

Full of pants and shoes that you can match up to your favourite characters! More fun than a colouring book printed by Satan.

Oh yeah, there’s a bootlegged trailer online, too

The CW’s Arrow has a clip online

Yeah, you get tired of reading all of these words, so here’s a trailer for the CW’s attempt at making another Smallville. This one, though, makes Green Arrow look, well, not blonde, that’s for sure. Although his workout is admirable.

Grant Morrison is putting on his own comic-con

You read that right. The man behind, well, everything that’s left comic book fans humbled and suffering from a minor existential crisis for the last twenty years is grabbing Jim Lee, Frank Quietly and others and hanging out at the Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas this September. To quote the man/legend, “It’s less of a convention and more like a conference or TED talk… After two days, you will be a changed person.” It’s expensive, though – $767 a ticket, available at the Morrisoncon site.

And finally, a present that will confuse you and make you weep a little 

S[p]oil yourself this September and get a Watchmen toaster, that apparently burns Rorschach’s image on your toast. That burning sensation you feel at the back of your neck? That’s the wrath of Alan Moore.

This should answer why so few of us are left active, healthy and without personality disorders?

Weekend Table Talk: Minnesota Statehood Day Edition

Sick of those all-night poker games where everyone just sits around awkwardly and doesn’t say anything? Tired of those hockey games where everyone insists on talking about sports? Well, you’re in luck! Try these conversation starters at your next gathering. First up…

Mike Mignola is up to stuff

Yesterday, io9 talked to Mike Mignola about stuff. Specifically, Hellboy stuff, like Hellboy in Hell, which he says is due in December. They also talked about the debut of the Hellboy: The Fury motion comic, which debuted yesterday on internet nerd dream girl Felicia Day’s Geek and Sundry YouTube channel. You can read the entire interview here, and watch the motion comic below. Or you could be awesome and grab yourself a physical copy here.

Batman No. 1 sold for a crap-ton of money

Some dude sold his copy of Batman No. 1 for $850,00. But don’t worry, some day your copy of Batman from the early ’90s will be worth what you paid for it.

But not in you or your grandchildren’s lifetimes.

Maurice Sendak passed away

But his impact will be felt forever. Not bad for a guy who wrote children’s stories with less lines than your average email. Comic Book Resources compiled some amazing artists’ tributes to the man. Seriously, they’re amazing. Check it out here.

The Avengers will have a sequel, nobody was surprised

Robert A. Iger, Disney’s chairman and chief executive, told a bunch of reporters who tried to act surprised that a sequel to The Avengers is in development. Also mentioned was Iron Man 3, Thor 2 and Captain America: The Sequel or whatever. In other news, the sun came up.

An Iranian cartoonist was sentenced to 25 lashings

Apparently, the dude drew a member of Iranian parliament wearing a soccer jersey. Wow. Good thing they don’t see the caricatures of Canadian politicians some of our cartoonists draw. This may be the offending picture right here:

“Worth it.”

AMC renews one pointless-but-okay show and one useless show

AMC renewed “Comic Book Men,” the pointlessly funny show that follows Kevin Smith’s entourage, and “Talking Dead,” the completely useless show that somehow manages to be less funny than you and your buddies talking about the show you just watched, for second seasons.

Jeff Lemire announced the imminent end of Sweet Tooth

And people wept, for Lemire is a genius. Later on, though, he talked to Comic Book Resources about his plans for the future, which, surprisingly, doesn’t include attempting to grow antlers.

And finally, some brain food from TED

Scott McCloud, the guy who wrote Understanding Comics, did a talk a few years ago about how awesome comics are. Check it out, and have an excellent weekend:

Why Tom Gabel’s Gender Transition is Awesome

Fair warning: today’s post has nothing to do with comics. But chances are, if you read this blog, you like Against Me! or have at least heard a couple of their songs. 

By now, you’ve probably heard about it, since it’s all over the interwebs.

In Friday’s issue of Rolling Stone, Against Me!’s lead singer Tom Gabel comes out as transgender and explains how she has dealt with gender dysphoria for years and her plans to undergo a full gender transformation, beginning with hormone treatments and electrolysis. Eventually, she plans to change her name to Laura James Grace.

Many people (like Punknews.org trolls) may not agree, this is nothing but awesome news. Why? Well…

Those lyrics from “The Ocean” make a heck of a lot more sense

Remember the part where Gabel says “If I could have chosen / I would have been born a woman / My mother once told me / She would have named me Laura” and then expounds upon the life he would lead? Well, now you know what that’s all about.

Tell you the truth, based on these lyrics, more of us should have seen this announcement coming.

Anyway, it’s a hell of a song. The live version (because that is when Gabel and her bandmates are at their finest) is at the bottom of this post.

That voice is going to be unlike anything ever heard by human ears

Remember the first time you heard Tom Gabel’s voice exploding from your speakers? Remember how it sounded like an angry puma (like the one on the cover of New Wave) had the child of an otherwordly being? Remember telling your friends how you’ve never heard anything like it before? Damn right you do.

Now, imagine what that voice is going to sound like when it gets a little more feminine. Again, like nothing you’ve ever heard before.

In fact, it wouldn’t be surprising if Against Me! started sounding a little more like early Dio.

Gabel’s songwriting will be better than ever before

Art imitates life. As such, artists like Gabel draw from their life experiences when creating their works. Gabel coming out first to her family then to others close to her then finally her public will all be experiences rich for mining. It will speak to an entirely new audience that maybe Against Me! didn’t reach before (or at least didn’t speak directly to).

Not only will the content be plentiful, but it will likely be more honest than ever before. Not that Gabel wasn’t honest before, but finally coming out after years of struggling with gender identity must be a giant weight off Gabel’s shoulders. But for the first time ever, Gabel’s fans may get a singer holding absolutely nothing back.

Maybe this will help break down barriers in the punk scene and the larger rock scene

Despite what you may tell yourself, sexism is still very much alive in the punk and rock scene, along with every other “-ism” you think doesn’t exist because you don’t actively practise it. They are still there, bringing the scene down one bigoted slur at a time. Hopefully, Gabel’s revelation will cause people to rethink their unfounded prejudices.

It’s a long shot, but one can hope.

Anyway, you can show your support to Gabel by sending her a Tweet or just throwing on an Against Me! album and jumping around your living room like you’re in the middle of a crowded club. Or just watch an acoustic version of “The Ocean” below.

The Avengers: A Completely Partial Review

First off, do a couple of things before you hit up The Avengers this weekend:

1. Get there early. That way, you get to see the awesome (and sometimes not-so-awesome) costumes some people show up in. And you get a good seat, since (unlike a rock show) it’s tough to see exactly what  is going on in the first three rows.

2. Brace yourself. You likely won’t have half as much fun at the movie theatre this year, unless you’re planning on watching this movie again. On hallucinogens.

HULK TOTALLY TRIPPING BALLS RIGHT NOW.

You’ve probably read all of the reviews and seen the hype, and yes – this movie is awesome. But you can’t be surprised you’re reading that here, on a blog dedicated to everything comic-related and nerdy as all get out.

But this movie isn’t one you go watch once and call it good forever. It’s a movie you watch twice in theatres, then as soon as it comes out on Blu-Ray, then multiple times after that. It’s a movie you throw on when your buddy’s over and you’re both bored.

It’s a movie for everyone – it’s just violent enough to satisfy your Tapout-wearing roid-rage cousin, but full enough of laughs and heart for your mom, who will probably half-watch it while knitting, as moms are wont to do.

She doesn’t care if you’re 29. Or a dude. She’s knitting you a Wonder Woman sweater, and you will darn well wear it, or you can’t have pie with Christmas dinner!

The movie itself is based around a group of superheroes attempting to put aside personal differences to stop one of their adopted brothers from ruling the world. The plot is pretty thin, but it doesn’t seem to matter. What the flick lacks in plot, it makes up for in killer dialogue and massive set pieces.

The dialogue for every character is unique and pitch-perfect (“clench up, Legolas” -that’s right, there’s a Lord of the Rings joke in there) and the jokes are timed wonderfully. Small hints are given to character backgrounds (Black Widow especially), leaving you wanting to know more about them. You don’t find much out about Hawkeye, but with how much money this movie will rake in, it’s likely not the last time you’ll see Jeremy Renner doing his modern-Robin Hood schtick.

Every action scene is bigger than the one that came before it, with more at stake. The action just gets better and better, and the threat looming larger and larger until finally it comes to a head in one heck of a final act.

But that’s enough raving. Just go see The Avengers. It’s a good time and the best possible way to kick off the summer film season. And make sure you stick around after the credits… All of them. It’s worth it.

KHHAAAAAAN – OH, WAIT. HULK SORRY.

And oh, if you were wondering if Mark Ruffalo is the best Bruce Banner yet – he is. Bar none.

So Many Nick Furys

Fair warning: there is more cursing than usual in this post. So don’t read it aloud to your kindergarten class.

Super soldier Nick Fury is the comic nerd world’s James Bond, with everyone having a favourite version. Some will prefer the original (but nobody under 60 years old remembers picking up Sgt. Fury and his Howling Commandos), others will prefer the Ultimate version, also known as Samuel L. Jackson’s doppelganger, who has the same eyepatch as the original, but he’s black. And those who like their Furys to be badass to the core, there’s always Garth Ennis’ cigar-chomping womanizing Punisher: Max and Fury: Max version, who once belt-whipped a guy while calling him an “inhuman fuck.”

AKA "The Best Version."

And, of course, some people straight up like the Nick Fury from Iron Man 1 and 2, Captain America and Thor. And how can you not? It’s Samuel L.M.F. Jackson

In fact, because everyone loves Nick Fury, there is a Tumblr dedicated to him. And yes, it starts with “Fuck Yeah.”

Anyway, now there is one more Nick Fury for you to choose from – Nicholas Fury Jr.

Eyepatches are hereditary. Bet you didn't know that.

Apparently, Marcus Johnson is the long-lost illegitimate son of Nick Fury, the white one. He was fighting in Afghanistan for a while (not Iraq – that was all Flash Thompson), the some stuff happened and his buddy turned out to be Agent Coulson of S.H.I.E.L.D. and his dad turned out to be the greatest spy in United States history.

Oh, yeah. Sorry, second best. Mark Twain was number one.

Fortunately, Nicholas Fury Jr. looks just like Samuel L.M.F. Jackson, so it will certainly help people who’ve only seen the movies hunt down books in the comic store, just like the Black Widow books that feature Scarlett Johansson.

Now, it could be said that this is just a cheap ruse to sell a few more comic books by obvious tie-ins to the film. Well, duh. It’s been done dozens of times before and it’ll be done a million times more, so there is really no point in deriding it.

That said…

Let’s let Garth Ennis write a flick starring his version of Nick Fury. Hell, he can use Samuel L.M.F. Jackson if he wants, that’s awesome, as long as he writes the character. Sam’s badass and all, but until he is on a big screen with a cigar hanging out of his mouth belt-whipping a guy who totally deserves it, it just won’t be the same.

Like, seriously.

Badassness in human form. He uses cigars instead of painkillers, which he says are for ninnies. And he uses the word "ninny" and makes it sound hard as fuck.

The Dark Knight Rises’ New Trailer

So, The Dark Knight Rises has a new trailer, and holy crap. If this one doesn’t get you excited, you don’t like movies. Also – the ****ing Batwing!

What do you think? Let us hear it in the comments.